


Broken by the thought of it

by SnowFariy



Series: Alternated Endings for 4x12 [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Episode Tag, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, wolf!Derek possessive!Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowFariy/pseuds/SnowFariy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tears now streamed down his face, his breath was erratic and without doing something about it Stiles felt his legs give out. But before his knees could hit the ground Stiles was caught by strong arms. He felt the tickle of stubble on his cheek and got a glimpse of black hair and a moment later he felt his chin rest on a muscular male shoulder. Stiles’ fingers found their way into the soft fabric of a blue Henley – he clung to it desperately. <br/>‘Derek?’ he asked, his voice heavy with doubt. </p><p>Or my thoughts how Episode 4x12 should have ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first work in this fandom and more important my frist work in english. I hope it is not that bad and I would be very happy about any feedback.

It was the moment right after Scott punched Peter in the face, when Stiles could see that his friend was okay that he took off in a run. Out of the ruins of the crazy Aztec temple stumbling, he nearly fell, his heart hammered in his chest. Hoping, desperately hoping that Derek would still be alive, that it wouldn’t be too late to tell him and be by his side. It felt like he was running for hours until he finally found the exit. Seeing the light, Stiles forced his body to run faster, even when his lungs felt like they might burst, he couldn’t get himself to care. The only thing he cared about was Derek. Laying there dying on the dirty ground in the desert of Mexico – without him. Sprinting the last few meters out in the open and turning to his left. Panting, his eyes scanned the area, until he found the little wall that Derek had been leaning against. But there was no Derek. Stiles walked towards the wall and froze instantly when he saw all the blood in the dirt. 

‘Derek’s blood,’ he thought. Stiles started shaking. His eyes became watery and the only thing he can hear is his own voice whispering: ‘I’m too late…’ Until he saw that the blood was blurred. Like Derek’s body had slid down the wall into his own blood the second his body went limp. It was too much for Stiles to bear. ‘I wasn’t there…’ he whispered broken, over and over again, while his mind began playing through all the possible scenarios where Derek’s dead body could have vanished. 

Maybe, Braeden had taken him to the truck… Maybe, the Berserkers had taken him to Kate, so that she could see the results of whatever it was she had done to him… Maybe, he had been torn apart… Or maybe, there was a chance that he had survived…

~~~

At the same time Derek was standing fully recovered talking to Parrish and Braeden somewhere else in the earth-quaked town. Braeden argued that someone should go after Chris and help him track down Kate, while the others discussed further action with the rest of the Calaveras. Parrish seemed to have another opinion on the topic, but Derek wasn’t quite listening. He was too occupied with feeling like himself again. Enjoying the ability to heal, hear, smell and protect himself and others without needing a stupid gun. It was then that he caught a familiar scent. A scent he had really missed not being able to smell. A scent that was filled with joy and happiness, which smelt like books and cinnamon – a scent of home. The thought of ‘Stiles’ flooded his head, blocking everything else out. But this scent was different from what he remembered; it was mixed with feelings of pain and guilt and desperation, and so much fear. And with the scent he heard a stumbling heartbeat and the broken whispers of ‘I’m too late…’ and ‘I wasn’t there…’ Without another thought Derek spun around, following Stiles’ scent and voice. The idea of Stiles in any sort of pain pushed him to go quicker. Derek didn’t hear Braeden callout after him or see Parrish’s irritated look. Within seconds he got to Stiles’ location. Derek heard the whispers turn into sobs and when he finally saw Stiles he was shaking and pale, his breath erratic and tears were streaming down his face. Stiles is staring at the spot where Derek had been laying before. And a blink later he saw Stiles’ legs give out. 

~~~

Stiles couldn’t breathe anymore. He felt like dying. He had seen Derek almost die so many times before but in the end he had always survived. But now Derek was dead and Stiles was unable to do anything about it… He was too late. And with this irreversible thought he felt himself begin to sob, breaking into a million pieces. His heart was shattered, without the possibility to ever be repaired. It was different to the moment his mom had died. After some time he had been able to move on, because he knew his mom had known how much he had loved her and still does. But Derek would never know that Stiles had liked him… had loved him… Because he was such a coward, because when he had finally realized it, it was clearly too late. Stiles needed Derek to die, before he was capable of understanding his own feelings. To understand and realize, that his constant fear about Derek’s wellbeing was more than just friendship and that he had been hiding behind his relationship with Malia instead of admitting, that he was clearly attracted and in love with the werewolf and had been for quite a while. 

‘How could I have been so blind?’ Stiles started to ask himself, only to be shaken by a wave of grief and desperation. Tears now streamed down his face, his breath was erratic and without doing something about it Stiles felt his legs give out. But before his knees could hit the ground Stiles was caught by strong arms. He felt the tickle of stubble on his cheek and got a glimpse of black hair and a moment later he felt his chin rest on a muscular male shoulder. Stiles’ fingers found their way into the soft fabric of a blue Henley – he clung to it desperately. 

‘Derek?’ he asked, his voice heavy with doubt. Derek slid with Stiles in his arms to the ground and instead of answering, Derek moved Stiles’ head with one hand gently from his shoulder to make Stiles look at him. Stiles stared - taking it all in. ‘Derek…,’ was all he managed to say. 

Derek moved his hand from Stiles’ cheek to his neck and slowly rubbed circles there, while he softly began to whisper: ‘Shhh…it’s okay Stiles – I’m here.’ 

‘I thought I had lost you…’ Stiles sobbed, his voice breaking on the last word. His hands now fisted in the fabric that covered Derek’s back. Derek’s other hand moved to Stiles’ lower back and pressed him closer to the werewolf’s body. 

‘I’m fine Stiles and I’m not going anywhere… you don’t have to worry…’ 

‘But how… You made me leave… and I couldn’t…’ Stiles cried out, not able to form a reasonable sentence, hands clenched tighter. 

‘Stiles… I…’ Derek started, with no idea how he should tell Stiles why he had made him leave. 

It wasn’t that he couldn’t stand the possibility of Stiles seeing him die. It had been his own helplessness, his own weakness. The idea of Stiles being next to him, worrying and not watching out for his surroundings, with the Berserkers that had been all around them. There was also the risk of saying something stupid. Something that would leave Stiles taken aback and unfocused, with the result of Stiles being an easy victim for a gun shot or anything supernatural. It was the idea of Stiles dying next to him and Derek being unable to protect him. There was no way he would have exposed Stiles to such danger. And he had known, by the look on Stiles’ face that Scott would be the only thing that would make him leave. But Derek couldn’t tell him that. Stiles wouldn’t understand. Stiles would think, that Derek thought he was weak and only human, unable to watch out for himself and nothing more than a risk in an already life-threatening situation. Not getting the point that Derek really cares. Cares for the most precious human he has ever known. So there was only one way to make Stiles understand.

Carefully Derek removed his hands from Stiles’ neck and lower back, which caused Stiles to start to shake in panic, to squeeze his eyes shut and try to get a better hold on the werewolf. ‘Don’t…’ he pressed out strangled. The fear of Derek leaving him was overwhelming. 

‘Stiles, look at me…’ Derek said, his voice utterly soft. Stiles opened his eyes – meeting Derek’s valuing gaze. Only to flicker them shut again, when he felt both of Derek’s hands cup his cheeks. Derek leaned in and Stiles felt it, he knew what was coming. Hoped, internally praying for it. Stiles pressed himself closer to Derek’s body. Their lips only inches apart, when Scott’s booming voice crashed into their moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Part of 'Broken by the thought of it' - I hope you like it! Don't be shy and leave a feedback if you want to ;)
> 
> And thanks a lot to my new found and absolutly awesome beta godamnarmsrace <3 You're the best!  
> (Part 1 now also beta read!)

‘Stiles, Man, there you are!!!’ Scott called out from the entrance of the church. Clearly not overlooking the state of affairs. Stiles couldn’t believe it, he nearly got kissed by Derek Hale and Scott had to go and ruin it. Stiles wrenched his head towards Scott, his voice full of disbelief. 

‘Yeah, Scott here I am…’ Derek suppressed a chuckle. This whole situation morphed from a life-threatening action movie to a drama with an almost happy ending to a supernatural teen sitcom. But Derek couldn’t bring himself to be disappointed. Stiles was alive and in his arms and he seemed obviously unhappy by the fact that the two of them had been interrupted. So Derek decided that Stiles should be kissed – now! He was about to lean in again and ignore Scott and any following consequences, when Malia came rushing out of the church, and threw herself at Stiles. Thanks to the sudden movement Stiles was torn from Derek’s embrace, lying flat on the ground. Derek felt a rush of anger form in his chest and his eyes turned bright blue. How could dare she try to take Stiles away from HIM? Derek clenched his eyes shut, trying to hold himself together. Trying to push the anger aside. But his wolf wouldn’t let him. Without control Derek fell on all fours, turning. Stiles looked over Malia’s shoulder his eyes filled with awe. Within seconds a black wolf was standing in the same spot Derek had been kneeling before. Derek growled at Malia lowly – a warning to get off of Stiles. Malia didn’t seem to care, she pressed her body even more closely to Stiles’ as if to prove a point. Stiles struggled to get free from her grip, his eyes focused on wolf Derek, shining with fascination and admiration. Scott’s mouth hung open in shock as Kira and Liam came to a stop next to him. 

‘What just happened?’ Liam asked irritated. 

‘Seems like Derek and Malia are trying to show each other who Stiles belongs to,’ Kira answered sounding uncertain.

Derek bared his wolf teeth, he growled louder. Malia refused to let go. Derek moved closer - snarling. Braeden and Parrish chose that moment to come running around the corner, with their guns aimed at the action. Stiles used the distraction to fight against Malia’s hold on him. Finally Stiles managed to push her away, if only a bit, Stiles looked at her face. The girl looked back, her face stubborn. 

‘Malia, stop it!’ Stiles let out harshly. Malia went still, making no move to stop Stiles, when he tried to shake her off again. Out of Malia’s range Stiles caught his breath before he started crawling over the ground to Derek, desperate to touch him again. Sitting on his knees, Stiles reached out with his hand to the fur on Derek’s head. Derek instantly closed his eyes, and lent into the touch. 

‘Is this how you survived?’ Stiles asked, his voice gentle, as he caressed the spot behind the wolf’s ear. Derek nodded nearly not visible to the eye, snuggling closer. Smiling to himself Stiles moved closer, placed a kiss on Derek’s snout. With his lips still on Derek’s wolf face and his hand buried in the fur, Stiles felt Derek shift back into his human form. When their lips met Stiles was on the brink of whimpering. His hand buried deeper into Derek’s black hair, while the other stole its way to the werewolf neck. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles back to feel even more of the boy. Derek licked his tongue softly over Stiles bottom lip, begging for entrance. Stiles allowed it eagerly. 

Scott still standing at the entrance of the church looked to the ground, trying to avoid what was happening between his best friend and the older werewolf. ‘Seems like we have a winner!’ Liam announced laughing, he patted Scott on the shoulder. 

Kira met Malia halfway to the ruins of the church, and pulled her into a friendly embrace. ‘I have known for a while now…’ Malia said quietly. Kira nodded with understanding and led her over to the boys.  
Braeden turned and left without another word, while Parrish took a picture of the kissing pair with his phone – searched for Lydia in his contacts and hit SEND.

After a while Derek broke the kiss, his eyes searched Stiles’, Derek took Stiles’ face in both hands again. ‘I hope you know that this is not meaningless to me…’ Derek started. Stiles held his breath, drowning in Derek’s green eyes. ‘Stiles… I need you to know, that the only reason I sent you away earlier was because I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt. I was confident, that you would be safer with the others, as far away from the Berserkers and Kate as possible…’ 

‘But…’ Stiles interrupted. 

‘No, Stiles. You getting hurt while trying to save me is not an option – ever! I love you way too much to let anything happen to you if I can avoid it!’ 

Stiles couldn’t believe it. Derek Hale loved him!!! Stiles smashed their lips together in one long kiss before he managed to say ‘But I love you too Derek… So there is no way I will be not standing next to you or leaving you ever again. I won’t be doing nothing while you are dying or doing something stupid, if I can avoid THAT! Do you understand?’ Stiles asked seriously. 

Derek ground his teeth together, knowing by the tone in Stiles’ voice and the look on his face, that there was no point in arguing about this now. So he just nodded. Stiles grinned brightly ‘Good! Don’t look so offended Sourwolf – better yet kiss me again instead!’ Derek grinned at that also, and he followed Stiles’ wish instantly. The moment that Derek deepened the kiss again Stiles forgot the world around him, the only thing on his mind was Derek. The feel of his lips and his tongue. His muscular chest and strong arms. Derek’s hands on his back as he pulled him closer. His own hands lowered, with the need to explore. He stroked the bare skin of Derek’s shoulders. ‘Bare skin…’ Stiles thought. Confused Stiles opened his eyes again, his gaze slid over Derek’s right shoulder that was unmistakably naked. Also his right arm and what he can make out from his chest and… his tight. ‘His tight…’ Stiles had to swallow hard. Derek mistook Stiles’ action for the lack of breath and backed away. 

‘You all right?’ Derek asked. Stiles blushed deeply, his eyes locked with Derek. Stiles gestured over Derek’s body without touching, making a point not to look down. Derek looked down at himself and laughed ‘Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable…’ 

Stiles shook his head abruptly and blushed even more. ‘No… I just… ehm… maybe we should move this elsewhere?’ Stiles questioned, his voice hoarse. His arousal scented the air. 

‘I don’t think so…’ Derek answered with a smirk, before he shoved Stiles to the ground, covering Stiles with his naked body. Stiles let out a squeak at the sudden movement, only to groan the moment he felt Derek’s lips against his again.

‘Oh my god…’ Scott muffled, faking throwing up. Liam laughed out loud next to him.


End file.
